"Conan's Father: No one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts. [Points to sword]

I feel ill at ease. Something draws near. I can't say what exactly. So far with me…..life goes by uneventful.

Job = Waiting to hear back from ARC Staffing. They put me on an IT bench. To be overviewed by IBM for possible hire.

Relationship = Still seeing a beautiful kind woman that can hold a conversation and keep me interested. The key word is “seeing”. She is clever, we have a lot in common, and unusually for me she is one of the first girls in a LONG time that is really into me. I am not sure how to handle it.

I am pulled into many directions emotionally right now. I am happy about a great number of things and I am worried and nervous about others. I almost feel like certain aspects of my life are better than they ever been and yet at the same time... the worse they ever been.

I feel like I should be on my guard. But to do that would show ultimately that I don't trust the individuals I am guarding myself from. And I do trust them, when I would know it would be safer that I don't. But then again, I could push them away if I do fail to trust them.

It is times like this that remind me of one of my most favorite quotes…

"Conan's Father: No one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts. [Points to sword.] But this... this you can trust."

I had a weird dream a few nights ago. I was at a zoo, with alligators. The alligators were either un-caged or I was in their cage. To make it short, the alligator chased me and stood on its hind legs and went to bite me. I grabbed its mouth and pulled a Steve Irwin on his ass.

Weird.