Hello Peeps!

Starting to get bored with other projects so I will be posting here more often.
Tonight I will be seeing The Watchmen.
I hope it isn't lame as shit.

Paridine fruition!

Paridine gaming going good. Doing a good hard weeks work on the new system. The weekend game was fun. updates soon to come.

Aquilonia

Far, far away a long, long time ago
From the dawn of time, a king shall rise

Black, on the snowy horizon
hundreds of stallions are riding
Sun beams breaking trough the clouds are shining
on the swords of their riders
They bear a standard of the blackest steel
with two snakes facing each other
The symbol of a new born religion,
rising to crush all the others

Riding like the cold winter wind
Killing and wading through gore
Their mission, by the name of their lord
is the search for the purest steel
Spilling sacred life's blood
and quenching a power mad thirst for the mightiest
of might, They ride!

The riders of Tulsha doom

Ave domine! Ave domine!

By barbarian strengh and Cimmerian pride
Aquilona's crown shall one day be mine
By barbarian strengh and Cimmerian pride
Aquilona's crown shall one day be mine

No survivor has stood in their way
but aboy with hate in his eyes
This boy will grow stronger and stronger each day
to be ready to fight
A man who someday will be a great king
by his own hand and will for revenge
To crush the riders who brought the snakes
on that day when snow became red

He'll be riding like the cold winter wind
Killing and wading through gore
His destiny, by the name of himself
is to bear a jeweled crown
Spilling evil life's blood
and quenching the thirst for revenge
he's feeling inside, He rides!

The conqueror, the barbarian
who one day shall be king
In lakes of blood his enemies are drowning

He'll be riding like the cold winter wind
Killing and wading through gore
His destiny, by the name of himself
is to bear a jeweled crown
Spilling evil life's blood
and quenching the thirst for revenge
he's feeling inside, He rides!

Spartan Workout

I am on week 3 of this Workout and I already lost 8 lbs.

This workout TEARS YOU UP... ughh.. the pain.. but it will all be worth it in the end.

I made this PDF of the workout itself.

We will be upping the reps towards the end.

http://frank.pangaeagames.com/SpartanWorkout.pdf

Come on People!

I am growing little patience with people that suffer from ego problems, delusions of grandure, and people who bitch constantly.

No one wants to hear how bad ass you THINK you are.. or what you THINK you know.

And its ok and normal to have problems... we all do.. everyone in this world that i have met has had problems with work, jobs, family, drugs, opposite sex, relationships, appearance, self esteem, friends, etc.

And its even OK to tell us about your problems from time to time. But if everything you say or post has to do with how shitty you think everything is and you start to sound like a broken record. And who the fuck wants to hear that? I mean.. I understand life is bad... and I realize that Ages 17-20 are the hardest years of anyones life. Out of school, no direction in life, having to get a job, affording rent, missing old friends in high school, relationships breaking up. Yes .. it sucks.. and we all are aware of it.. It just kinda sickens me to see the same posts over and over and over and over and over.


Calm the fuck down people, swallow your pains, and stand up.. suck it up.. and move on. Its called LIFE!

Trust only yourself

People give hope and trust into other people too much.

As I said before Trust takes years to build and only seconds to destroy.

People give trust initially to people they feel they should trust.. but as they get more experienced in life they will realize that it is always safer to let other earn their trust.. as trust is something that is too fragile to just give away. Cause if the careless break it, it hurts you more than them. Its like constantly handing your heart to strangers on the street.

Cause no matter how much you think you know someone ... you never really know them.

Everyone has sides of themselves they would NEVER show others. This also means you. Do you think that would make them except from that rule.

Everyone inherently is selfish... we are in certain ways.. I am selfish.. you are selfish.. we are all selfish.

We all want what makes ourselves feel good or happy. That is selfish to some degree. People would even punish themselves by allowing themselves to be drug through a bed a razor blade if they knew that they could be happy by the time it is all over.

People will eventually let you down. People will tell you what you want to hear. There have been times you told other what they wanted to hear. Why would they be different. I am not saying it happens all the time but depending on the situation and what the other person wants.. that would determine the degree.

The ONLY people you can really see as a true friend are ones that have nothing to gain from you.

If for any reason you are giving to them, supporting them constantly, giving them compliments, o r being the blunt of their jokes to make them feel better about themselves, they are not your friends.

Dependency is a sickness, dependency is a weakness and the doom of all who rely on it.

The only person in this world that is truly your friend is “yourself” please do not betray that one life long friend.. do not lie to yourself and do not undersell yourself.

The Secret = SCAM

I just saw "The Secret" and wow. As one said, "People seem to have one of two reactions to The Secret. Reaction one: “This is BS.” Reaction two: “This just cleared up everything for me, I feel a new beginning in my life.”

After doing research on all the "professionals" they had on the show revealing "the secret" to us are actually no one of any large respectable organization or history. There was a random school teacher.. and even a "Metaphysician"?!?! do you even know what a Metaphysician is? Think about it.

I felt that "The Secret" is a mix between a "Guilt-Crutch" for the middle class to not have to feel bad for people that have bad things happen to them or are in bad situations themselves. And also a mix between this theory that "If you think positive thoughts and "Ask, Believe and Receive" then you will get what ever it is you want. WTF!?! As I was told.. EVERYTHING required work.. you have to work to get where you are in life. Unless you were born into it.. you have yo bust your ass.

The movie was pretty much telling you that as long as you THINK and BEHAVE with a Truly positive mentality and visualize what you want in life.. that some supernatural force of Attraction (wich they kind of compared to quantum physics in the beginning of the movie for some kind of validation) will give you what you want. .and it will come to you as if you are a magnet of good things.

This movie is for people who believe greatly in Karma, and and it feeds on your gullibility to that premise and the movie tries to make you FEEL GOOD. So at the end you feel that this has changed your life in some way.

It really hasn't revealed anything other than trying to get you to buy the books.

This movie is not for people who are strong minded, self directed thinkers, and people who know that the universe is a chaotic place of chance, luck, and random events, that are driven and partially guided by your own ability to see and avoid such circumstances.

This movie to me.. uses the same groundwork that Scientology uses, and many organized religions today use.

And I am not telling you to NOT see this movie. cause I would be a fool to think any of my friends would be weak minded enough to just take my opinion alone on it.

I will give you a free copy to see so you can see for yourselves.. but I would feel terrible if you spend 30+ bucks on a film, that has no real cinematography, music, plot, character driven story elements.

Frustrated

So I turned 32 last week. I don't feel much older physically or mentally really. Emotionally... maybe. I noticed that care less about trivial things.

And when I say "care less about" it may be that I am just more picky about those things and not sure why.

Women: for some reason women have really meant nothing to me. Not sure why.. but when I look at them I don't see them as most other guys would. As I told my friend the other day.. when I start talking to women.. regardless of who they are... they would more likely annoy me before getting my interest. It isn't that most women are annoying.. I am just saying that i would reach a point of annoyance before I get interested. I feel this may have to do with my ex. I have been single for 6 months and I felt I was ready enough to move on after our mutual breakup. I guess I probably was ready, but wasn't fully prepared. At least that is what I think it is. Cause last weekend she went out with some guy on a group date to try and "get to know him better" you know.. the whole "beginning stages" of getting to date someone. That was the proverbial nail in the coffin. Not that I had reason to be upset. But it was a definitive "lets move on now" kinda thing. Well besides finding this out on Monday, on top of it being a bad Monday and on top of one of my female friends loosing my utmost respect because of her lack of willpower set me in a pretty irritable mood. A mood I am not used to feeling.

Friends: There are some friends that I care for a lot for. I hang with them regularly. Some how I feel as if the link is gradually weakening and I don't know why. It started with David.. and he stopped showing up because he started a new relationship.. which for some reason means he can no longer hang with friends. even on weekends when he isn't working. I know what it is to be in a relationship with a women that wants nothing more than your 100% attention. I dated one for along time. And I did what I wanted none the less... which could be why I am single now.. but I am not going to date an insecure woman, that NEEDS to have me around 24/7 to make herself happy.. All women should have their own friends. .be their own people and have their own shit together before involving themselves with me because I am a gamer, I have lots of friends and I am a social butterfly. I know this is nothing that would entice someone to date someone like me but I will not and do not bullshit people about my views. Hell reading my blogs can tell you that. Organized religion is for the weak willed and/or terribly frightened humans that can't grasp no life after death. I also don't believe in marriage. One day.. i MIGHT get married.. but again.. I would have to be with a girl for 6-8 years before even considering it.

My friend Craig seems distracted by something. He thought I was hiding something from him last week when I wasn't .. and I wasn't sure if that was misunderstood. but it just seems uncomfortable around me or my place. Could be my imagination, could be additional friends. His friend Tori has been hanging around with us a lot since he introduced her and I don't' know their full history together but maybe that is the trigger for it. But I can't help think it may be something with me.

So ya.. I am trying to have a good weekend with friends.. relaxation.

Congrats to my cousin!

She won first place in the USAs in FIGURE CLASS B.

Time for the PROS!

Go Felicia!

Felicia

Jan 14, 2006 - 35 Photos

Marriage! Not for me!

A marriage is a committed relationship between or among individuals, recognized by civil authority and/or bound by the religious beliefs of the participants. This dual nature, a binding legal contract plus a moral promise, makes marriage difficult to characterize.

Here is my reasoning why I will never get married. Just as I mentioned how today's morals and responsibly have changed as in my post "feminizing men" . I also think responsibilities have change. The reason for people getting married now may be slightly different than what they were 100-1000 years ago. Marriage was used in the past as a way of monogamizing relationships, even though polygamy was still an issue.

Marriages today have many facets and many meanings and definitions.(in the USA)

Legal binding by the courts: You are bound by law together, you share legal and financial responsibility and the court is there to make sure you do so. It is this foothold that the government has in marriage that frustrates me the most. They tell you who you can marry (no gay marriages) they tell you who gets what when you leave each other, they are the mommy and daddy of your personal life with your soul mate.

Ceremonial: I know the ceremony of marriage today is very important. What woman DOESN'T want to wear the white dress and have all that she dreamed of all of her life. I think a lot of the programming into women at young ages sets an expectation at what they should strive for when they get married. Every woman that gets married has a predetermined fantasy or idea of what her marriage day SHOULD be like. The ceremony is VERY nice indeed, but I think the desire for ceremony DOES overshadow a lot of what marriage is REALLY about. A lot of women and men may disagree, but ask them if they would feel that marriage is cheapened if they were to just sign some paper work, look into each others eyes and just say they will love each other forever. if they say "yes" then they really do lack the feeling of what true marriage and commitment should be about. I know this isn't such a big issue cause honestly I wouldn't mind giving a ceremony to my woman if she wants one because I am not going to steal that day from her that she has been dreaming of. I just wish that girls would stop being programmed to have that “White Wedding” when in fact less than 10% of women and men that get married are NOT even virgins and 50% of marriages end in divorce. It almost seems to lose its PURITY.

Excuses and Reason: The worst reason to get married is because of an excuse or reason that you feel is justified like... “I am pregnant, we have to get married.” or “We need to get married so it will be harder to leave each other” even though it isn't worded like that it is what I have heard as an excuse as “If we aren't married what is keeping you from just walking away?” WTF?!

FIRST: Kids are no reason to get married. If you really feel your child will grow up in a better environment because you had a ceremony and legal paper work filled out then you are wrong. Forcing yourself to get married causes additional stress on a household that would be much more negative for a child than something the child knows nothing about. As long as you love your child, show him strong family values and respect he wont give a rat's ass if you and partner are married or not. (and yes insurance does cover your children and life mates even if your not married, there are ways of setting that up)

SECOND: If you are getting married to make it harder to leave each other then your bond isn't as strong to begin with and there is no reason to get married in the first place. Your HEART will decide if someone is going to leave. Not a Marriage.. which is why divorce rate is so high, and why you can get divorced for 99bucks down at the local divorce store

Religion: I am not religious, so the whole bond spiritual thing for the afterlife I never get. So I will not go into this.. I don't want to start a religeous debate.

It isn't that I don't' trust my partner and or the institution of marriage. I believe that one can be with someone their whole life and tell them and show them they love them without letting government or anyone else decide what makes a strong family.

Thank You

Some movies cost too much!

Let me start by saying "I love big movies", but here is the problem I have with big movies. They kill smaller movies. And here is why, I am sure my logic is prolly all twacked out but I will give it at stab at trying to explain it so it makes sense.

If you went shopping for a car, food, clothing, or any other similar products you will be charged MORE, if the item is either better quality, prettier or what not.

When you deal with movies there is a difference in the quality of the movie you get and you are charged the same regardless of what you receive. Big Budget movies like Superman, Lord of the Rings, King Kong, or any other 150+ million dollar film will naturally bump movie prices up. Movie prices went from 4.75$ to 11$ bucks a ticket in the last 10 years.

This is because the studios are trying to make the most money on their big blockbusters to make their profits back. The problem with this is that while Superman, or King Kong or X-MEN 3 may be worth 10 bucks a ticket, this kind of inflation is killing movies that people may not want to see on the big screen.

While I would like to see Nacho Libre, Click, Superman, De Vinci Code, would it be reasonable to spend 10 bucks a pop?

I would probably spend 10 bucks on Superman because it is the type of movie that will benefit from the big screen experience, but Nacho Libre or Click will not lose any luster if seen on a 30 inch TV.

When deciding to see movies I am sure the inflation that causes EVERY movie ticket to be increases in price really hurts smaller movies that could do better if tickets were cheaper. I am using Nacho Libre and Click as an example, they did well in the theatres, but I feel there are reasons why A LOT of Indie films never make it well on the big screen, they wont make any money if you have to pay 10 bucks to see it.

They should charge different ticket prices for different movies I think. Each studio should weight what it thinks the movie is worth to see and charge accordingly. Ok I am done.

Picasa Web Albums

Wow.. I signed up for this thing and just like every other google tool. It is clean, fast, simple and looks great.

Check out my web album Here!!

If you want yo sign up you can do that Here!!

Neu Scheiße AKA New Shit!

Got some Vids and some Art and Pics posted on my page now. Check em.

Bleeding Rainbows

bleeding rainbows fall like rain
on a grey world full of pain

washing away all of your tears
all of your memories and all of your fears

dried butterflies turn to dust
colorless statues turn to rust

buildings crumble, falling apart
shattered love, a tarnished heart

Thinking Stuff!

Have you ever slowed down in life enough to look back and notice the path you took? Ever remember the faces of your childhood friends, high school friends, and college friends? Those friends or people that have changed your life in ways that make you the person you are today? Ever sit in the dark and wonder where everyone else is?



I think it is very hard to keep your mind in the “Now” if your constantly regretting decisions, or dwelling on the past. It is very strange to look in the mirror and notice the changes.

Feminizing Men!

Here is the problem with the world today.

Society is trying to redefine the Man, and Redefine the Woman.

Keep in mind my post is not about what is right and wrong, but on the direction of where things are going.

The Feminizing of Man: Metro-sexuals, it is todays big fad, sure get a guy to wear some fragrances, hair products, designer clothes, and use lotion, manicures, pedicures, etc. Sure that is all great. I mean.. what girl doesn't want a guy who is in touch with his feminine side.

Regardless if you think this is right or wrong. This trend IS giving men the idea that they have to abandon apart of their manhood to impress woman. This goes against the nature of man, in more ways than one. Not only does it give them a less dominate standing it also takes away their strongest attributes. Look at men throughout the HISTORY of the WORLD up until 50 years ago. They were the WORKERS the ones that brought home the bread, the strong leaders in the household. 1000s of years of this.. and then NOW in the past several decades that has been stripped away.

Behind the Bible!

Something to think about for all you religeous fanatics out there. "THE BIBLE"

What the Church will NOT tell you and does NOT want you to know!


The word, "bible," came from BABYLOS, the City of the Great Mother, the oldest continuously occupied temple in the world. The Goddess (called Astarte, Baalat, Hathor, etc.) patronized learning and her Priestess collected a library of paypyrus scrolls. So it came to be that the Greeks called any papyrus, "byblos," which came to mean any HOLY BOOK.

SOME OF THE MIRACLES ATTRIBUTED TO BIBLICAL HEROES WERE COPIED FROM
"OLDER" MYTHS OF THE GODDESS.

For example, Joshua's arrest of the sun was formerly credited to priestess of ISIS, Hecate, and the Thessalian Great Mother, who were said to stop heavenly bodies in their courses, thus lengthening the day or night at will. Moses' flowering rod, river of blood, and tablets of the law were all SYMBOLS OF THE ANCIENT GODDESS.

Moses' miracle of drawing water from a rock was first performed by Mother Rhea after she gave birth of Zeus, and by Atalanta with the help of Artemis. Moses' miracle of drying up waters to travel dry-shod was earlier performed by Isis, or Hathor, on her way to BYBLOS !

THE GREATEST MISTAKE OF RELIGIOUS AUTHORITIES IN THE WESTERN WORLD was
their view of the Bible as intrinsically different from other ancient scriptures, and that it was "dictated word for word BY GOD" instead of collected slowly, rewritten and miswritten, revised and reworked over and over again BY HUMAN BEINGS for a very long time!

New Job!

Well.. I finally got a new job that is 20 miles closer to where I live.. 2 lights away. How nice is that. making the same money, doing less, with full bennies.. mmmmm and normal hours.. 9-6. Good stuff. Now I actually remember how bright the sun really is.

World Coming Down

She thinks I’m iron man that I don’t feel pain
I don’t understand why joy must be feigned
I’m so fortunate yet filled with self hate
That the mirror shows - me an ingrate

I could easily start pointing fingers
Since the blame is mine it always lingers
That the truth it lies in my reflection
Though this can’t go on - there’s no question

Yeah I know
That my world is coming down
Yeah I know - I know - I’m the one who brought it down - brought it down - bring it on down

How quickly pass the days - long is night
Lying in bed - awake - bathed in starlight
Better to live - as king - of beasts
Than as a lamb - scared - and weak

I will deny - my role - as - a human
Holding myself - hostage - with no - demands
It’s better to burn - quickly - and bright
Than slowly and dull - without - a fight


I know - that my world is coming down
Yeah I know - I know - I’m the one who brought it down - brought it down
Yeah I know - and my world is coming down
Yeah I know - I know - I’m the one who brought it down - brought it down - bring it on down

-Type O Negative

Time, is it real?

For many people, time is something we all wish we had more of. But I am not going to talk about time as in the hours of day we have, but time as a whole.

Most people think Time is linear; and there are some who believe we can travel back and forth through time. But I don't think time is linear at all. I do not believe it is a line that is progressively moving forward, I believe it is more of a dot that is constantly changing colors.

Time is nothing more than a "Measure of Change". Without change time would not exist. If everything was at absolute zero, where not even the atoms of matter were in motion, time would not exist.

Quantum physics teaches a principle of time that is entwined with space and they are related. Where traveling at different speeds increases or decreases the amount of time that passes. In this theory every object has its own bubble of time, and its own perception on how fast time passes.

Change is change. Regardless of how fast things move, the universe is changing at the same speed and because you perceive time as being slower doesn’t mean the change is happening any slower.

Time is change, change is time.

Unifinite

Unifinite is the paradoxical meaning of the word “Infinite”. A concept often perceived but never reached. The idea behind the word “Infinite” is a value with no end, and no beginning. By which imposing that by its own value must only be a concept; and therefore the theory of the goal can never be reached. There is by theory of “Achilles and the Tortoise” an Infinite amount of space between two objects. This use of “Infinite” is limiting its own meaning.

There is a unifinite amount of space between two objects as long as you’re traveling half the distance with ever movement. (Thus never stopping and never reaching your goal)

http://unifinite.urbanup.com/211538

Wow

I just got done playing Paridine, and Tyler Leonhardt was playing a Barbarian warrior, and he just went toe to toe with 12 Dwarven knights and a Dwarven King. Several of the knights were Lords wich are the highest trained knights available. They approached the party asking us to surrender cause they think we could have stolen thier gold. Well my character and Heidi's character were knights as well, who have to live by a code of conduct. Wich means me and her have to surrender due to the laws of forign lands. Umm the Barbarian didnt' like being accused, escpecially by filthy dwarves. So the the barbarian shouted "I took your gold!" and charged in with a blind rage.

Banks Suck!

OK so check it.. if you are one of the many people that get screwed over by overdrafts from your bank.. let me show you exactly WHY you do.

Banks are not dumb. They know exactly how to withdraw money so they can make the most of your overdrafts.

If you are not apart of a credit union then you should check your online statement and see the order at wich each daily transactions are processed.. You will notice (especially if you are with Wells Fargo) that your transactions will be rearranged in an order that best suits your bank. It will also show that it is ALWAYS processed from the largest amount of $$ to the smellest amount. This is done to maximize thier overdraft potential.

Example:

The Logical Way Account Total: $100 -$25 (+$75) -$35 (+$40) -$10 (+$30) -$5 (+$25) -$5 (+$20) -$5 (+$15) -$75 (-$60) ----------------- -$60 (-$93 After Overdraft Fees)

The Banks Way Account Total: $100 -$75 (+$25) -$35 (-$10) -$25 (-$35) -$10 (-$45) -$5 (-$50) -$5 (-$55) -$5 (-$60) ----------------- -60 (-258 After Overdraft Fees)

Notice how the banks made ALOT more off you when they rearrange the order in which you take out your money.

Banks Suck.. ok I am done!

Work Getting Worse!

Well every day for the past 2 years I was able to bring in my laptop and listen to MP3s on it. Well as of today I got a great e-mail stating that no employoees can bring in thier laptops. Well I am on the second shift and I have the 2nd highest call stats in the center. This has shown to not impact me before.. why now. I know of the security violations. I dont' have it connected to the network and I have Wireless Dissabled. So I am not sure where the problem is. The reason I am even in this possition is the freedoms it gives while I am at work so it doesn't feel like I am at work. Hmm.. time to find a job that doesn't feel like a job. (wich is uhh impossible now a days.)

Dear Mother!

My dear mother, where did you go?
I wish you were here, I miss you so.

Everyday without you, my soul is lost.
I wish you were here, no matter what the cost.

Deep inside my heart still bleeds.
Your presence here would fulfill all of my needs.

But you’re gone now, this I must know.
Oh please tell me mother, where did you go?

Dedicated to my Mother
Born- Nov. 23, 1953
Died- Sept. 8, 1991
Rest in Peace

Forever!

If words could describe my feelings for you.
Those words would be divine and entirely true.
My love for you is deep and pure.
And when I was lonely, you were the cure.

For once in my life I feel complete joy.
And not like a useless, used up toy.
And out of all the women I have met,
You are the only one I will not regret.

You have relieved my heart of all its pain.
And all your love is what I wish to gain.
I care for you now with all of my heart.
Because I know we will never be apart.

Through thick and thin I’ll be by your side.
And maybe someday you will be my bride.
But if the day comes when you decide to move on,
I will remember you always from dusk to dawn.

The Eclipse of Memories!

A man sits silently in the dark. He ponders on thoughts of the past.
He cannot speak, for his words would help nothing change.
He cannot mourn, for his tears are forgotten.
He finally gets up and walks into a nearby forest.
His hair hangs in his face, as he passes though the bushes and towering trees.
The dark windy sky above the trees is cluttered
With clouds being illuminated by the full moon.
His mellow attitude during his walk through the dark gloomy forest reveals hidden pains.
He emerges on the other side of the forest in a cemetery.
He walks up to a double headstone,
And their lies the names of his two parents, who recently have died.
He sits again, silently, waiting and waiting,
Until his thoughts and memories are also forgotten.

Love

Love is hard to find,
And when you give it
You might not receive it.
Then it will eat at your heart.
Love is extreme caring.
It feeds, it breathes,
It blinds, it dies.
Like an intense flame.
Love requires sacrifice.
A sacrifice that requires loss.
A lose that requires pain.
And a pain that requires sorrow.
Love gives temporary joy.
But when that love dies.
That joy is diminished.
Then you wonder what happened.
Yet we all must have a love for something.
If not, we would die of loneliness.
So don't be afraid of love.
Be afraid of what love can do.

WTF

An old dream I dug up.. wierd!

::I was driving in a suburb in Mesa at about 2 am. I was with a friend of mine (possibly Ren). I was headed north down a small road and I noticed something in the sky. The object looked like a comet. I pulled over to the side of the road and pointed it out to my friend. As I got out of the car and got a better look, I realized it wasn’t a comet; it was a missile. It was headed towards Phoenix. The missile started a rapid decline; the red flaring trail was pulsing with a bright light. The missile hit and a huge explosion illuminated the sky with amber and orange.

What is wrong with the MMO gaming industry?

What is wrong with the gaming industry? Why do all the latest fantasy games that come out mirror their ancestors? Where is the innovation? Where is the breath of fresh air into the gaming community? Regardless if the game is a real time strategy or a mmorpg it gives me the sense that these are all the same “play” just different actors. Mostly with the MMO games I see this. I can easily get into a mmorpg, but they are tedious, boring, and same old stuff over and over. It is EVERQUEST with different graphics. Here are some of the similarities that MOST mmorpg’s share.

1-Level Grinding: The continuous combat that has to take place with HORDES of tiny monsters outside your starting town to gain enough experience and levels. To move to the bigger and tougher monsters that are a bit farther from town, then you will come across another town and “YAY” more monsters there to kill to get to a higher level.

2-Redundant Monsters: You are in a fantasy world that consists of HORDES and HORDES of the same monsters that have nothing better to do than to stand out in a field, forest somewhere waiting to be killed.

3-Illogical treasure: Well I love killing spiders and finding coins, killing giant flies and finding a sword. That is great I love illogical items that wouldn’t be on those creatures. Makes me feel like I am IN A REAL WORLD. roles eyes

4-Level Requirements: Items and or armor that require that you be a CERTAIN level or other illogical requirements. Like you have to have a certain intelligence to wear a hat. Umm it is a HAT people. (I don’t mind certain strength requirements and mild dex requirements to use agility based weapons) but keep is subtle and keep it logical.

5-Lack of Freedom: I am not talking about climbing buildings and picking apples from trees and climbing through windows, because I know that is a hard thing to code in a game. But I am talking about simple freedoms that other characters have. How many times have you just wanted to wield a shield, or wield a sword and use it but unfortunately you are wizard, or thief, and some class that CAN’T use that sword or shield. Now I understand that it wouldn’t be what they wouldn’t NORMALY use so I am all for gimping them out a bit if they are wearing armor or weapons they are not supposed too. But in the battlefield, any warrior would use any tools available at the time to stay alive.

6-Level Based: Enough said.

7-Redundancy: Anyone who has played for hours and are still looking at the same monster knows exactly what I am talking about. And who cares of the colors is different. It is the SAME monster.

8-Static Questing: I LOVE going on a Quest... a job, a duty for ME to take on. To make me feel special. And when I get to my questing location. I see a line of 10+ people going for the exact same thing as me. Hmmm I am not so special. Now I know making a dynamic questing mechanic is a bit difficult for these lazy developers, but at least find a way (ala Guild Wars) to make the quests separate on their own. If I am really NOT special then at least blind me to the idea that I am. Cause if the quest was designed to kill “John Doe” and get his Helmet. It is not balanced if you get there and John Doe and his protectors are DEAD and when he “spawns” again 10 people take him down instantly and frantically go for his helmet. Not very balanced.

9-Plain Combat: Most people play MMORPGs to go around killing stuff. Yes there is Crafting and the ability to make weapons and armor is certain games but the real excitement is when you take on a creature toe to toe. Well, 99% of games out there are wack, wack, wack, wack, wack and you do that until their little red bar is gone and they fall over and your red bar goes down too. And you will have these specials you can do “combat abilities or spells” and that will have a delayed attack but will do more damage. That is what 99% of the other games have out there. I know it would take more EFFORT but it is possible to add flavor. Body Targeting, with complications. Knock down to leg shots, drop weapon with arm shots. Something that is easy to recover from as game play stance, but in game can cause a problem as difficulty when fighting monsters.

10-The Bunnies: Why do most MMOs start you off as a character that can barely take on a Rabbit, Frog, Tiny Beetle, Bat, or something that ME Frank Mesa can kill with my BARE HANDS non the less a SWORD. These games should at least make weak: logically: tougher looking creatures, this of course is a plagued side effect of LEVEL BASING you game.

11-The Ever-Sharper Sword: I love when I get a good weapon that is a nice sharp iron sword, and it does good damage to what I am attacking and I would love to get attached to this weapon, but I realize that within a days time I go through 3-4-5 weapons because there is always a sharper sword. This motif works with almost everything in these games, a sword that does 1-2 then 1-3, then 2-3, then 2-4, then 3-5, then 4-5, then 5-7, -then 6-8 and on and on and on and on and on. This is also a terrible side effect of Level Based Games. But I don’t believe there would ever bee 1000 levels of swords ranging from 1-2 to 687-900 points of damage. Regardless of magical influence. These swords have way too many variations of silly swords. I think there should be a lot of variation but some of these games are silly with it.

Sorry had to get that off my chest. I know most of these problems are seriously impacted by making a game level based. Level based games are a developer’s EASY way of advancing your character without having to seriously worry about balance issues and having loads of details statistics that a SKILL based game would solve. Ehh.. I don’t know.. I have given up hope for now. I guess I have been playing too much GEAS, and UO.

YEARS!

It has been years since I have posted on this damn thing.

1- Same job, 35-40 mile commute, I need a new job. A place called me last week about a 15 dollar an hour job repairing laptops or building laptops for some company in scottsdale. Sounds good.

2- Going out??? I might go out tonight to Anderson's Fifth Estate, as long as my "girl" is going to stay home. If she wants to hang out, I will have to spend some time with her, as she is 20 years old and can't make it into the club quite yet. Kids.

3- My roommate got fired for some stupid ass reason, wich leads me to believe that the work place today is super messed up. First Nichole, now Ren. Half the people I know are unemployed. Damn .COM jacked everything up.

4- I suck! ;)

I got hit by a fuckin car!

Yup... not MY car...... ME. I got hit walking to walmart by a fucking car. I flipped in the air..... landed on my ass. The guy said "dude are you ok???" I said.. "I got hit by a fucking car" I walked in the store and baught my game and went home.
hmmm
My ass hurts.

Talk about a bad weekend!

I got my check Friday, all excited to have $$. I went to the v-com machine and bought a 320.00$ money order. Went outside and used the payphone to call some friends that were coming over. Left back to my place to party and play Paridine all night. Well.. we had FUN.. and everything seemed great UNTIL....

Then is struck me, I left the Money Order back on the pay phone. Receipt attached. Not filled out.


SO as you probably guess, I was IRKED. 320 DOLLARS!!!!! GONE!!!!

YES! One foot in the Grave!

Woo hoo.. I am 28! YES.

One year closer to Death.
Farther away from the young hot chicks, making them more unattainable.
Almost 30!

Which is like. Half the way to 60

I have practically one foot in the grave.

Ok

Now I am officially depressed!

One game to rule them all!

Over the weekend my friends and me got together to play Paridine. And drama broke out. As soon as Nick started narrating the game, everyone else (Ren and Billy) started giving him a hard time about his quest. Which frustrated Nick, and then in turn frustrated me. I was trying to help him with some stuff. It all broke apart when nick made the comment as we were walking through some thick woods; “you smell burning meat.” Well of course Billy asked, “Is it meat we smell burning or flesh?” Of course I found this to be a silly question cause meat and flesh are the exact same thing. Again I perceived this as giving Nick a hard time, with the tone and stuff. Just let the man tell the story of what we see. Not question everything that comes out of his mouth. So I stated, “Meat and Flesh are the same thing.” And then they were trying to decipher if it was burning humans they smelled or burning animal. They thought I guess flesh = human, meat = animal. Same thing on both cases. Smelling a human burning could smell just like an animal.

Damnation!

Every day is a constant blur,
Seemingly repetitive, there's no cure.
That when loneliness strikes, there's a pain,
Knowing that it will happen, all over again.
My feelings were hidden, when they were bearable,
Yet pain has made my heart numb.
That when I thought my feelings were shareable,
I feel I would say something dumb.
Clouding my emotions with humor, to show no pain.
Yet inside me is anger, which is making me insane.
Then I think of how people see me, I feel like a fool.
That immaturity is shown, which is an annoying tool.
Passing through an eternity of grieving.
Still devoid of any meaning.
Useless to enquire upon,
The fate that I shall suffer on.
Silence will start to be my remedy,
Wishing that the emptiness in my soul would be filled.
Hoping that quiet sorrow stops it's piercing melody.
And that my limited joy will never be spilled.
I need someone to live for.
I need something to die for.
I don't want to play the painful part,
Of a lonely man with a broken heart.
I need to make a change,
Like a river must flow.
I need to rearrange,
It's time to let myself go.
I'm damned to this timeless void without love.
And I feel like a crow rejected by a dove.
Oh, why am I without love.
Save me please, someone from the heavens above.

"Good-Bye"

The time has come to say good-bye.
After you left I started to cry.
Letting all my sadness go.
It will never be enough, no matter how much it shows.
'Til the end of time, I will remember you.
And all the wonderful things you used to do.
And that all the challenges I must face.
No one can ever take your place.
There is a place for you in my heart.
And I know that our souls will never be apart.
Now you are in a better place.
And that is one thing I must face.
Your heart was always full of joy.
Living day-by-day, just like a young boy.
And though you weren't a perfect man.
You would always work hard and do as much as you can.
I wish you were here one more day.
So I could tell you how much I love you, and wish you could stay.
I will cry for all the memories I keep.
For I will remember the night you drifted into an eternal sleep.
After time my heart will heal.
But right now it doesn't seem real.
But even though in my heart you will never die.
I only wish I could have said good-bye.
Dedicated to my loving father.

Frank N. Mesa Jr.
Born- Dec. 5, 1953
Died- Oct. 23, 1993
Rest In Peace

Sadness!

Sadness smells like a dying rose.
Sadness tastes like bitter tears.
Sadness feels like a bruised heart.
Sadness sounds like a reversed laughter.
Sadness looks like cloaked sorrow, which hides inside every love.

Build me up and Knock me down!

I hate repeating the feelings inside of being built up and then knocked back down. What the fuck is this roller coaster bullshit. It isn't that I walk into walls and allow myself to be misled. It is giving someone just enough trust and expect that they must reliable to some normal extent and then realize that is all in vain.

I guess I am more disappointed than anything else. It always appears that the reasons people (girls) like me are because I am easy to talk too, and I treat them as a best friend. Not necessarily someone that just wants to get in her pants. I know I flirt. And some ignorant people misperceive that as me being creepy and perverted. But 100% of the people that know me and actually talk to me on a personal level don't have that impression at all.

Build me up and Knock me down!

I hate repeating the feelings inside of being built up and then knocked back down. What the fuck is this roller coaster bullshit. It isn't that I walk into walls and allow myself to be misled. It is giving someone just enough trust and expect that they must reliable to some normal extent and then realize that is all in vain.

I guess I am more disappointed than anything else. It always appears that the reasons people (girls) like me are because I am easy to talk too, and I treat them as a best friend. Not necessarily someone that just wants to get in her pants. I know I flirt. And some ignorant people misperceive that as me being creepy and perverted. But 100% of the people that know me and actually talk to me on a personal level don't have that impression at all.

Trust!

TRUTH: Conformity to fact or actuality; Sincerity; integrity.

TRUST: Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing

LOYALTY (fidelity): Faithfulness to obligations, duties, or observances. Faithful to a person, ideal, custom, cause, or duty.

HONOR: High respect, as that shown for special merit; Good name; reputation.

“Trust takes years to COMPLETELY build, and only seconds to COMPLETELY destroy.”

Flu of Death and Distruction!

I am glad last week is over. I was so sick. I slept like 20 hours one day. YUK.

Well now I just have the lingering cold symptoms, but nothing too bad. I am feeling mucho better. Now I can try to go out this week and start chick hunting. (What ever that means)

Of course I am not sure if I can find any chicks in the current "scene" I am in. I mean sure there are many I "would" date. But it seems like they all dates the same 3 guys in the "scene" and just seems to.. FAMILY like for me. That is a catalyst for drama and rumors. So I will stray from that a bit.

Besides I think I am turning EVIL. I am actually gathering a small amount of pleasure from witnessing relationships fail. I am not sure why. Maybe cause I am in single mode.

I have been in MANY relationships.
I have been in 3 long-term (over 2 years each) relationships. I know what everyone goes through. I know what it is like to "almost be married" and what not.

I just get confused when I hear the SAME OLD SHIT..

"But this guy is different", "I know him. He wouldn’t do that", "We been together for so long how could this have happened".

BLAH BLAH BLAH.. EVERYTHING comes to an END... no matter how precious you FOOL yourself into thinking it is.

Well. I feel satisfaction when I see people slapped in the face with reality. It lets me know that they are learning and growing.

We all only LIVE once. That is the only thing that can be proven physically. Letting minutes slip by idle, are minutes lost. Cause in 50 years from now. When you look back on the WHOLE scheme of things. What is it YOU want to be PROUD OF? Contemplating Suicide cause some guy you dates for 2 years (2% of your life) dumped you? I think not.

Ohh well. What people do with their limited time on this planet is up to them. They are the only ones FULLY responsible for their own emotions. They can blame anyone they want, but ultimately it is them who have the control.

I am 27, not married, no children, don’t smoke, and occasionally drink. I am happy I experienced all the things I did. All the stuff I lost in the past helped make me a better person.

That, which does not kill us, makes us stronger.

I am the Dungeon Master!

Working a job that isn't particularly stressful: Simple, somewhat entertaining, and at times can be frustrating. Call center work has always been like that for me thought.

I shouldn't complain cause with the $$ I am making, and the amount of work I have to do is completely fine. My schedule is perfect, and I work with some cool people.

1 problem; it is FAR!!!!!!

Well. I should say there are 2 problems.

The 2nd is: I don't want to do this type of job forever. I am burning out. And the fuel that is burning me out faster is the lingering thoughts of the potential corporation that I can be apart of.

The Corporation: Pangaea Games.

Making games for a living can’t be that bad. What are the benefits to a job like that?

Perfect schedule, challenging, the ability to use creativity and my imagination.

Creating one of the most exciting Fantasy combat/rpg games out there.

I will create worlds, and universes. Every magic potion someone finds I mixed… every magic item they find…. I PUT IT THERE.



Now I have to ask my self... Where my priorities lie?

Return of the Jedi!

Well. I am not really a Jedi. But I have returned. I have a steady job now.

IBM MAINFRAME ANALYST

Sounds all technical doesn’t it.

My girl and me are doing fine. We communicate real well, which I like. And she is totally into me, which I also like.

My side project “Paridine” is coming along GREAT. We test play it almost every Friday.
And it is fleshing out to be a real game. (It always has been thought).

I am starting to have $$$ again… WOO HOO I love it.

Extended edition of the lord of the rings kicks ass… Period

I sit here at work. Waiting to go home to play Paridine tonight, LAN Party All tomorrow, and Star Wars RPG on Sunday.

Games are FUN

"Conan's Father: No one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts. [Points to sword]

I feel ill at ease. Something draws near. I can't say what exactly. So far with me…..life goes by uneventful.

Job = Waiting to hear back from ARC Staffing. They put me on an IT bench. To be overviewed by IBM for possible hire.

Relationship = Still seeing a beautiful kind woman that can hold a conversation and keep me interested. The key word is “seeing”. She is clever, we have a lot in common, and unusually for me she is one of the first girls in a LONG time that is really into me. I am not sure how to handle it.

I am pulled into many directions emotionally right now. I am happy about a great number of things and I am worried and nervous about others. I almost feel like certain aspects of my life are better than they ever been and yet at the same time... the worse they ever been.

I feel like I should be on my guard. But to do that would show ultimately that I don't trust the individuals I am guarding myself from. And I do trust them, when I would know it would be safer that I don't. But then again, I could push them away if I do fail to trust them.

It is times like this that remind me of one of my most favorite quotes…

"Conan's Father: No one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts. [Points to sword.] But this... this you can trust."

I had a weird dream a few nights ago. I was at a zoo, with alligators. The alligators were either un-caged or I was in their cage. To make it short, the alligator chased me and stood on its hind legs and went to bite me. I grabbed its mouth and pulled a Steve Irwin on his ass.

Weird.

Update!

It is gone now.

I finally found it and flushed it.

Thanks for your support guys!

current mood: satisfied

Ugh!

Well children, that thing finally fell off.

You know... I did refuse to go to the doctor, but I was sure he couldn't help.

And sure enough last night it FELL OFF.

While I was asleep even, how simple was that.

I woke up... and there is was; lying on the floor.

The Cat was playing with it for awhile, but then it started twitching and scared the cat away.

I jarred it in formaldehyde and put it away around noon, but an hour later it absorbed all the formaldehyde and broke out of the jar. Now it is lost in the house somewhere. That little bustard couldn't have gone far.

Well at least I took pictures of it and showed to my doctor. He didn't have a name for it.

I wanted to go with the name KDB “Dead Kitten's in a Bucket”. But he wasn't GAME.

He said it had to be Latin or something. Like most scientific names.

So I said “How about “Felines Mortis en Bucketo”.

He said… “NO”

Well... once I find it I will be better off.

Pondering!

So I sit here listening to DCD. Downloading Windows XP themes, and submitting resumes to many online IT jobs.

I haven't posted in awhile. So I will update those who are interested; with the latest happenings in my life.

I am seeing a girl. She is not my girlfriend or anything like that; but we get along real well, and there is also chemistry. This is good because we flirt a lot.

I have no drawn or written anything in awhile and I am not sure why. My life is currently at a stand still. I am sort of lost in which direction I should take.

I have no worked on Paridine in a few weeks. That makes me feel a bit lazy and I don’t like feeling like I am dropping the ball on a project that has SOO much time and effort pumped into it. But then again 99% of the written docs in Paridine are written by me which makes me feel like I can take a break now and then since I am the only one doing the typing. Not that I blame the others involved for NOT typing the instructions. Out of me Dallas and Rene; I am the middle man. Dallas is the “HACK and SLASH KILL KILL KILL DIE DIE DIE” type of guy; while Rene is more of the “You enter the door to the north, the stench of mildew emanates from the wet dungeon walls.” kind of guy. That analogy might not make sense to most of you... but it makes perfect sense to me. ?

Well, I realized that I was “used” by this company I was working for, to get a particular job done at a high profile location within a certain deadline. The project was completed in time and there were these extra techs lying around with no work (me being one of them). Well what sort of irks me is that on the last day I was there I talked to “Dalton” who was my lead at the location and he said that Bank ONE (who was our high profile client) pays CompuCom (the company that used me) 40 bucks an hour for each tech that they have working there. I only say 17 bucks an hour of that $$$$; but that is fine because I liked the job and the money was enough for me. I just didn’t like how they used a background check as an excuse to NOT hire me because they didn’t’ have work and it sounded better than saying “we have no work for you 5 people we hired, sorry but bye”.

What can one do?

So I sit here… stressing about my car payment due next month, and where I will get money for me.

I will come up with something.

So I sit here looking at Art Bell’s website… and I wonder… IS IT ALL REAL?

Me = Got Job!

The week was passing, and my trip to Mexico was almost upon us. Less than 3 days 'til the big trip back to the motherland. Well, not my motherland; but the motherland of some of my ancestors.

Then I got a call… for a Job interview. I dressed up and went right away. I needed a job badly. I almost started to feel like a bum. So the interview went real well. The guy liked me a lot, and said he would need people to start real soon. I like Mexico and all. But a good job is much more important.

Left the interview unsure if I was going to get hired or not. I was skeptical about my plans to Mexico, and sure enough when there was 18 hours left before departure, I received a call and got the job. I started the NEXT day.

So here I am at 6am all dressed up in a shirt and tie. And ready to depart through rush hour traffic to join the land of the employed.

I will be much happier now that I will have income. I can finally start fixing up my Infinity g20 like I wanted. (Tint, ect.)

Well I will write later... I am off to see the wizard.

Boom!

What does it mean when you have a Dream about a Nuclear Explosion??

I had a 2 part dream...

Part 1 - Female friend was playing with dynimite that was plastered all over a stone wall that was in the basement 2 stories UNDER a house/shopping center looking thing. She was playing with the fuses...lighting them and then putting them out at the last minute. I told her to stop doing that, and she didn't. I felt wierd.. so I started climbing up the ladder to the 1 layer of the basement.. andI hear a big BOOM. As I run up to the main floor.. a PUFF of smoke billowed out of the basement door. She was Dead... the FOOL.. I hate when people dont' listen.

The dream then flashed..

Part 2 - I was driving south on gilbert road. heading out of town (reaccuring dream) and BOOM! I see on the horizon in the direction of Tuscon a Large explosion (FLASH) a Wave of dust/smoke headed towards us. And as the main wall of dust cleared I noticed a mushroom cloud many miles away breaking apart in the sky. I imediatly turned my car in a 180 and drove the opisite direction really fast. THE END..

that Part 2 dream. probably happened like 7 times already with me.

1 time is was Flagstaff getting bombed.
1 time is was Phoenix getting bombed.
5 times with a Tuscon (southern arizona getting bombed)

No Clubbin for me!

Didn't go to Freedom tonight! This was supposed to be a big night with DICOVERY CHANNEL. And all kinds of other cool stuff. But I am not up for it..I haven'tbeen up for much of anythign lately. I am really agressive lately. Not sure why.. but this is once in a long while that i feel like I can REALLY go out and beat the shit out of someone for NO reason at all. Which is NOT like me at all. But I have this "anger flame" burning on my stomach.. andI really don't know why. I think it is cause of all the shit that is backed up.. in my life or what not. People irritate the fuck out of me sometimes... more now that it used too. I have been VERY unsocial lately. Not sure why. I know that last night I went to Alternative night at Andersons. For a change. It was alright. But just looking at those people irritate me. And other.. I just have to get to know them first before they irritate me. Either way ... I get irritated alot lately.. and I don't like it.. cause it isn't any fun. ohh well.

I might not go out tomarrow! Either.

I am sure I am canning my Mexico trip.. at the end of this month. And it seems like EVERYONE wants me to go... and THAT irritates me. I wont be any fun. I have NOONE to bring, I wont drink. SO I am thinking.. WTF... and I don't have the $$ and I really have no good reason... Hell I am partially hispanic.. and I can't find one good reason to go to wet-backville. I really need to release some stress.....

I find that I am the center of a WEB.. and everything around me is depending on me.. and I can't even depend on myself.. and it makes me feel bad that I can't be there all the time..mostly cause I am insticually nice and always want to be there.. but I can't... I upset myself.... and when I try to be there for people that I think are worth it.... I don't get appreciation.

Last night at Andersons.. some guy was TECHNO dancing all raver style and throwing kicks spins.. pretending he know Capoeira. And I walk by him.... he SEES me in my Asian Silk .. Manderin Suit.. and must have thought "Hmm.. is this guy all kung fu".. blah blah.. what ever, but he thought it was a good idea to run up and wrap his arm around my neck. Well.. I hope he didn't feel too stupid when he was tripped to the ground...he got up.. looked at me.. and like.. ran back into the crowd. at the time.. it went by so fast I didn't get mad enough to chase his ass, but right now I would love to get a hold of him...... grrrrr

I Feel Old!

I am 3 years away from 30.. wich is the point at wich people think other people are old.

I know a few 30-32 year old women.. and they look great for thier age.

Me.. I am aging rather poorly I believe.. I feel old....

I am not sure if I look it.. but I think I do.

I am 3 years away from being the half point to 60.
At 60 my ass is like supposed to be retired.

if I were to have had a kid the first time I had sex she would be

12

12!!!!
that is like.. almost Junior High.

WTF

Time to stop going to the clubs..

I don't want to be one of those old men in the corner staring at the women.

grrr

Well I had an OK night!

I went to my friend Dallas's place and played some Paridine... with Some Urban Terror..

the night went OK besides the fact that 1/2 the people there with thier computers.. coudn't get them running or even know the basic principles of operating them.. and they expect to jump in a Lan game with US.

Grrr.... half the time I was trying to get them up and running and I couldn't enjoy myself.

Ohh well.. I was too nice I should have just ignored them when they asked for my help.. kinda of like when they ignore me when I try to give them advice.

I was thinking of how much more fun I would have if I were at Jess's get together.

I need to spend some more of my time with her.

I am thinking I might get back into art or poetry.

I been single for like ...... 4-5 monthes now. that is the longest I ever been single.. since I started dating girls at the age of 18.

wich was 9 years ago. sdhaskljdfkasjdfh
I am an OLD man. I don't even know how to date girls any more. I had a good break to realize what I want.. and I know that I wont be rebounding on anyone.. and I know what to look for and what to avoid in women.

I don't want to rush it, but then again I get impatient sometimes.

ohh well, this weekend should be good.

Frustration!

I realized something...out of the several women I know..

99% of them are VERY attractive.

50% are hung up on a "Guy" that doesn't treat them right.
25% are taken and somewhat happy.
25% are single and looking.

10% thought I was creepy when they first met me.
80% of them think I am a really good friend and cool to hang out with.
10% don't really care to hang out with me at all.

I make at least 95% of then laugh every time I see them
I am super nice to at least 98% of them
I am like at least 5 years older than like 80% of them
I am out of the league of like 80% of them.
And from what I know of most of them "personality" wise I would date 90% of them,
and maybe get serious with like 20% of them.

but like 0 % of them are like uninsterested in me in the slightest.
hmmm.. all that math .. and end up with nuffin.
My past 3 long term relationships (all over 2 years each) ended with them dicking me over in some way. .. hmmm

I hear and see scinarios about dick heads that have been with and dicked over at least 80% of the women that I know.
What is funny is there are 3 people in particular that have dated 60% of that 80%. And like they are "NOTHING".

Either they must have Insane charisma. ( or LOOK that chicks go for) or they can LIE really well.
I think I need to change my style or personality or something

Become a "Dick Head".. or pierce the fuck out of my body and twack out my skin with tatoos.

it could just be I am not physically meeting the specs..... and/or I am just way to freaking OLD.

hmmm.. ohh well I will think of something

Finally Getting Better!

Why am I happy? Cause I went to Jessica's house and played a few games of "munchkin", and WON my first games ever.. and 2 in a row on top of all that! Go me!

Why am I upset? Cause yesterday I did my ex g/f some favors and drove her broke car havin ass around and later that night she started to dissrespect me and talk shit about me being wierd and freaky.. and what not. I think it was the Vodka talking... Who knows..

2 things I hate in this world more than ANYTHING.

1- Liers
2- Unappreciative people!

That set me in a SUPER Bad mood last night.. I hated everyone on my drive out of there. I hate when I walk in on a conversation with 2 people saying "I" have issues. Went to a "Lame" party tonight. No offense to any of you Rockabilly girls out there. But Let me tell you.. Most of you need to drop the fuckin Tude. Me, Jessica, Ren, Levi (Creeper), Nick, and Tyler went to this party where i knew noone there except for Mike... and his beautiful friend Brittany. They were cool.. but then the people at this party couldn't handle Levi's sarcasm and jokes.. They were all uptight...

I think Rockabilly chicks are too uptight in the sence that they are tryign to be all excentric/mature... cause that is the role they have to pretend to play.. and that sets them in this elitest mind-frame. So when you get a goof ball like me or levi in thier presence, they don't have the built in "character" to socialize with us, so they lash out wich snibby as attitudes.. and try to be witty and talk down to us (or him) in this case.

Well.. all I can say is I am GLAD I got out of there shortly after that. But the 2 wins in munchkin cleared my shit str8 up. Thanks Jessica.. *Muah*

I think my ranting is over... *grin*

Going to Andersons later tonight.. see you all there.

Damn!

Well.. I went driving around today.. and I got a nail in my tire.. a BIG one. that is like.. tearing the rubber lining on my tire.

A new tire I just baught

125 bucks
down the drain

grrrrrrrr

New Week!

Well.. I updated my company website..

http://www.pangaeagames.com

I redid all the graphics and layout. I can't wait to get this game published.

I am gonna add more content too it over the week.. and try to squeeze in time to make/create a quest/journey for the current champions of the game.

I went to Peagans party..I met Holly and Monica there..... very interesting people.. I like em.

Even thought I think I might have ruined thier expectations of me. Most people that see me in the Clubs and see me wearing my Asian/Oriental Garb they mostly assume that I am all excentric and mysterious.. with all these famulous eastern toys in my house. While in reality I am just a big freakin goof ball. :)

Motto : "Always expect the worst and you will never be dissapointed."
Quote: "Conan's Father: No one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts. [Points to sword.] But this... this you can trust."